East St. Louis Dream Center

Best way to reach them... quality time

2012-02-08T14:20:00.007-06:00

Today at our Wednesday lunch outreach, a guy who I will call Marcus came. I hadn't seen in a while. Several years ago, he was instrumental in how I was doing the lunch outreach. At that time, I was cooking inside my apartment and the guys were coming to my door to get the lunch plates. This young man and I had a conversation about how to reach the guys better. He told me, "You live right here in the projects with them, but your apartment is still another world to them. You've got to get into their world." At that point I began praying about what to change about the lunch in order to reach them better. I decided to start grilling on my porch so that I would be outside where all of the guys hung out. The lunch outreach grew from that point. Today the conversation with him was another one of those instrumental ones. He spent ten years in prison and has been out for several years. He has a brother who in in prison and two brothers who have been killed by gun fire. He knows what it's like to do life on the street and has even been homeless at one point. He is currently attending a church and has helped another church start a homeless ministry. As he sat there today having lunch with us and sharing his experiences and the best way to reach these guys, the volunteers and I listened. One thing Marcus said that stood out to me, was this, "A lot of ministries just want to go in once, share the gospel and give out food or clothes. Yes, people need these things, but whether you're reaching a homeless person, a kid or even a thug, what will reach them the most is if you spend time with them. You may not think a thug needs that, but they have a heart too." Wow! He was confirming what our goal is in providing lunch to these young men. We feed them so that we can spend time with them and build relationships with them. We were so grateful for his insight today and left very encouraged and inspired. (Read more about the first time I met Marcus in the October 2008 blog archives, titled "Into their inner circle.")

The faces that I love...

2012-01-18T14:04:00.004-06:00

We had a relaxed and fun time with the young men at lunch today. We made chili and all sat down to eat together. Since we're working on building relationships with them, we try to keep the conversations light hearted. Somehow we always end up on the conversation of food. :) Today we found out that four of the five guys who came, love to cook and they cook often. We jokingly said that we're gonna start having them cook for us on Wednesdays. :) Having the Wednesday lunch indoors has created a smaller more intimate environment, but I can see God's hand in it. He's building a foundation of relationships that this ministry needs in order to be successful and enduring in the future. Some day, when these young men are completely trusting of us, I'll be able to include their pictures in these posts. I look forward to when I can share their faces with you, the faces I've come to love and look forward to seeing every Wednesday.

Supernatural protection...

2012-01-03T10:26:00.003-06:00

Now that I continue to have the ministry in East St. Louis but don't live there personally, I'm realizing how supernaturally God protected me when I was there. I currently live in a town that is safe and a cute little neighborhood. But I can honestly say that I "felt" God's protection more when I lived in East St. Louis than I do currently. I know that God is still protecting me now, but His protection was a like a thick blanket that I could feel resting heavily on me every day as I lived in the most dangerous neighborhood in East St. Louis. It was His Presence and anointing keeping me in what felt like a bubble, safe from the violence that filled that neighborhood. I don't want to get so "comfortable" in my safe neighborhood that I don't still completely rely on His protection. I am very thankful for the natural safety, but I don't want to look to that as my SOURCE of protection, because only God can provide that supernatural, sweet, heavenly protection.

The first kids I ever met in East St. Louis...

2011-12-27T09:11:00.006-06:00

My first trip ever to East St. Louis, IL was in August of 1997. I was twenty years old and on a mission. What compelled me to go to this dangerous city that I was always told never to go to, where eight kids (from two separate families) that I had just met at camp that summer. My sister and a friend went with me and we showed up on the doorstep of their apartment, unknowingly in the worst housing projects in all of East St. Louis. They were little kids then, now all in their early and mid 20's. This trip, was just the beginning of a passion for the city of East St. Louis and the the neighborhood of John DeShields. Since that summer day in 1997, I haven't left since.

As these original kids got older, thankfully they were able to move out of John DeShields. We have stayed in touch as best as possible, but over the past five years, we haven't been able to see each other as much. But, last night one of the family of kids came over to my house for dinner. We talked about old memories, they asked about my time living in John DeShields, we talked about Christianity and the Muslim religion because one of the boys is now following that religion. We looked at old photos and took new photos. I felt like I was in a dream, the first kids who ever drew me to East St. Louis, were sitting in my home... again. Spending time with them, brought me back to my roots and caused me to fall deeper in love with East St. Louis. They are all grown up, some with kids of their own, all in college and all very responsible. I'm so proud of them! They have their heads on straight. I'm praying for them, that they would all come to have a radical, in LOVE with JESUS relationship and begin walking in the plans and purposes that He has for their lives.

LOVING East St. Louis,

Rachel :)

Because you love us...

2011-12-20T15:08:00.008-06:00

Friday night God blew me away! We had a Christmas party for the teens. In the six years we've had the teen program, the most in attendance we've ever had was 40 teens. And this only happened one time, about 5 years ago. So, when preparing the food and the stockings for the teens, I thought preparing for 40 would be plenty and that we would have a lot left over. I honestly was only expecting 30-35 kids to show up, but I was also praying for God to bring at least 40. Well, He EXCEEDED my expectations! There were 49 kids who showed up! 12 of those kids had never been before, we ran out of stockings and came close to running out of food. It was a good problem to have. :)

We had several activities going on throughout the building, a fried chicken dinner, cookie and gingerbread house decorating, 3 on 3 tournaments and make overs for the girls. Nothing made me happier than seeing our kids have so much fun and it was good, clean fun, in a safe environment away from the streets. I loved walking through the building and watching the volunteers interact with the kids, either by doing their make up, teaching them how to build a gingerbread house, coaching them in the tournament or talking with them about their life.

Everything about this night was special, but there were two moments that stood out to me above the others. The first was not one that I experienced myself but something a volunteer told me. Over the past year, before we dismiss the kids, we tell them, "We want you to remember why we do this program for you. We do it, because we LOVE you and we want you to have a safe place to go." With fabric paint, we had written on the stockings, "We LOVE you." After we shared the Christmas message with the kids, we broke into groups to give the teens their stockings. We made this an intimate time to be able to let the kids know how much we care about them and to pray over their lives. Before one of the group leaders gave her stockings out, she said to them, "Can anyone tell me why we do this for you?" One of the boys who frequently acts like he is too cool to come (but still comes) raised his hand and said, "Because you love us." I felt like a happy Mom, who was relieved that her kids finally "got it."

Since we prepared for only 40 kids, there were 9 kids who were not going to receive a stocking that night. I told the older teens that they would need to let the younger teens have their stocking and that we would bring one to their door sometime after Christmas. Even though they were a little bummed about it, they gave up their stockings willingly and some without being asked directly. We were seeing the fruit of our labor right there in that moment by watching the older being willing to serve the younger. I was so proud of them!

These are just a few of the things that God did on this special night. I want to thank all of you who gave and made it possible to purchase the gifts, decorations, prizes and food for this party. Teens in East St. Louis were blessed and made to feel important because of you. THANK YOU!

Having a meal together...

2011-12-07T14:14:00.003-06:00

Since the colder weather has arrived, we have an indoor lunch for the young men (ages 18-25) as opposed to the regular outdoor grilling. When we switched over to serving lunch indoors, I wasn't sure how it was going to work. Most of the guys we serve lunch to do life on the streets, many of them selling drugs, so they don't want to leave their corners for more than a few minutes. I knew that coming to eat lunch indoors would require that they leave their "post" for more than a few minutes.

We have been serving lunch indoors for a month now and the first three weeks, we had three guys come. Today, we had six guys come and this was a breakthrough! The extra three guys who came, were ones who rarely come off the streets. When they walked through the door, the volunteers and I were shocked and so happy :). They sat down to eat, all of us at a big table together. We talked about their Thanksgiving, their plans for Christmas and they raved on and on how much they liked the nachos we served. Even though sitting down and having a meal with a guy who sells drugs or a guy who just smoked marijuana before he came may sound simple, even in it's simplicity it is very powerful. Jesus sat down with sinners. The Pharisees were even mad at Him for eating with guys like this.

I recently had a conversation with a young man who I have mentored over the years. I met him when I was serving at the Los Angeles Dream Center. He was 14 when I met him and living on Skid Row with his family, now he is 21 years old. This is what he told me, "When I lived on Skid Row as a teenager, some of the memories that still touch my heart today was when I could go somewhere like my Aunt's house to sit down and have a meal with someone." Then he said, "Even the other day, my roommate and I sat down to have a meal together and we didn't even talk, we just ate together. That really meant a lot to me. We didn't do that when I was growing up and you don't get that on the streets." So, needless to say, those few sentences that he shared with me summed up what this ministry is all about.... we sit down and eat with people. And today, we served six young men who desperately need someone to sit down and eat with them, showing them the LOVE of Jesus.

In love all over again...

2011-10-25T09:22:00.004-05:00

On my way into the center today, I decided to drive around a few blocks of the city and pray. These times are always inspiring to me and seem to be the times when God speaks the clearest about the direction of the ministry. In these times, He shows me His beating heart for East St. Louis, how beautiful the city truly is and the BIG plans He has for it. I often forget to take time for these inspiring drives, but when I do, my vision is refreshed and I fall in love all over again with East St. Louis.

Toilet paper and prayer...

2011-09-15T10:44:00.001-05:00

Today we went to the John DeShields Neighborhood to pray. I never know what God has in store for us when we go. He usually sets up adventures along the way. Today it was an adventure of giving a bag of toilet paper that someone donated. I didn't know who we should give it to until God put a specific woman on my heart. We showed up at her door and she had just arrived at home. There was some chit chat and we could tell that she looked weary. We began to ask her how she was doing and right away she poured out her heart about some family situations she was facing. She has been raising her own kids and her two brothers as well, so it was beginning to wear on her. We just listened and then had an opportunity to pray for her afterwards. When we left she said, "Thank you so much for the toilet paper." When we left we knew that the toilet paper was just the tool that God was using to reach her heart and bring her hope about her family.

Like big brothers...

2011-08-24T17:30:00.000-05:00

When serving lunch to the young men today, we had a situation come up with a lady who is not in her right mind. Like big brothers in their protective way, they distracted her and made sure we were ok before they left. It's good to see fruit. :)

Praying for the guys...

2011-08-03T14:39:00.001-05:00

At the lunch outreach today, six of the guys stayed to sit down and eat. They talked about jail and how getting in trouble isn't worth it. We also got to pray for 4 guys individually about jobs and different situations in their lives. Thank you God!

You gotta take care of those who take care of the hood...

2011-07-06T14:43:00.003-05:00

As we were preparing lunch today, I noticed a young man yell at some other guys across the parking lot. He said, "Yeah, they may be beautiful, but don't talk about these ladies like that. They are out here doing good and you shouldn't be talking about them that way." Obviously they must have been talking about us inappropriately. He chatted with us and we learned a little about his life. After we served the food, he had about 10 loaves of bread that he got from the bread guy who delivers to the corner store. He handed me two bags and said, "You gotta take care of those who take care of the hood." I tried to tell him that he could give them to someone else who may need it more, but he insisted and then gave me an extra bag. I didn't want to disrespect his generosity, so I took all of them and said we would find something to use them for.

A turn around...

2011-07-06T14:01:00.003-05:00

Today as we were cleaning up from serving lunch to the young men, a guy walked up to me and said with sincerity, "I just found out that your apartment was broken into a while ago. I wanted to say that I'm really sorry that happened." I was very surprised that these words were even coming out of his mouth. This young man has consistently disrespected me for several years, but today I looked at him and saw this deep regret in his eyes about the break in. Wow! Thank you God!

I let him know that I'm doing better now. But, I was honest with him and said that it effected me and really made me feel betrayed. I went on to say that I have forgiven whoever did it and I'm praying that God will bring restoration to them.

We talked about what has been going on in his life and he told me that he's getting ready to go into a halfway house. We asked if we could pray for him about anything and he said that he just wants God to help him get on the right path with his life. I asked him if he had ever invited Jesus into his heart. He responded with, "I just got baptized on June 8th." I wanted to make sure that he knew the difference between salvation and water baptism. After talking through it, he said, "I do believe I am saved, but there are some things I keep messing up in." I let him know that the three of us standing there with him have the same problem. :) When we all told him that we mess up too, I believe it gave him some hope and brought relief. We encouraged him and said, "When you mess up, the best thing to do is repent and keep moving forward with God. And when you look back a year form you WILL see that you are in a different place."

We prayed for him, his future and his family. He was truly genuine and listened intently. As we prayed for him, people were shooting off fireworks around us, but in the midst of that God's Presence was there.

Marine Week Food Distribution

2011-06-23T15:41:00.002-05:00

We joined with the Marines and the Lessie Bates Davis Neighborhood House to pack 200 families cars with food today. Serving these families alongside of our armed forces was a HUGE honor!

What God is building...

2011-05-19T17:23:00.004-05:00

On Wednesdays when we serve lunch to the the young men (ages 18-25), we write encouragement on a post it note and stick it on their chip bag. We write something different every week and the guys usually respond in some way to what was written. Some of the guys have started putting the sticky notes on their shirts after they're done eating their chips. It's so cute! In the picture is one of the young men and a volunteer. He is a regular and often helps us set up and tear down. If you look closely, you can see that he is wearing the post it note on the left side of his shirt. It says "Jesus wants to FREE you." Also, this volunteer bakes homemade cookies to serve during lunch. It's an extra special touch and I believe it ministers to the guys to have something homemade. :) God is building closer relationships with these guys. Last week, there was a tense situation that arose during lunch and one of these young men defended us. These guys are near and dear to our hearts, they feel like our own sons. Can't wait to see all the things that God brings out of these relationships!

Graduation Rate up 90%

2011-05-19T11:03:00.004-05:00

East St. Louis High School graduation rate is up from 40% to 90% this year. I'm so proud of these kids! Check out the video about the church who committed to mentoring these kids for four years in order to make sure they finished high school.

http://www.ksdk.com/news/article/259521/3/East-St-Louis-High-School-grad-rate-on-the-rise

Spending time with them...

2011-05-11T10:27:00.003-05:00

Tonight we took thirteen teens to McDonalds, it was a blast! We had to cancel our regular Friday Night Teen Program because at the last minute we found out we would not be able to use the building we rent that night. McDonald's was the alternative and the kids were glad about that! We laughed, talked and played games in the parking lot after we were done eating. Volunteers were able to have meaningful conversations with the teens about important life issues. One of my favorite things to do is sit back and watch God use caring adult relationships to demonstrate His LOVE to these young people. The slogan of our Teen Program is this;

Recreation

Relationship

Restoration

So often we have seen God take the teens and us in this same order... We offer RECREATION to them, then through these times, meaningful RELATIONSHIPS are built. Then through these relationships God brings the RESTORATION.

Still a hit...

2011-04-26T13:41:00.001-05:00

The post it notes are still a hit, it's amazing how something so small can open doors. Check out the ways God has used His Word on a simple note;

*We were able to pray with two men about the direction of their life.

*We were able to talk to a man who thought he's done too many wrong things to come back to Jesus.

*My neighbor has started saving the post it notes and sticking them on her door. How great is that!

Kiddos :)

2011-04-15T23:15:00.002-05:00

2 recomittments and 5 salvations!

2011-04-15T22:43:00.001-05:00

‎2 teens rededicated their lives to JESUS tonight and 5 got saved! Our focus is usually recreation and spending quality time with these kids, but tonight I felt a prompting to share the wonderful salvation message with all of them. They listened intently and respectfully. Thank you God!

Bearing fruit!

2011-04-13T10:15:00.002-05:00

God made my day today! One of the young men who has been in prison showed up at my door today to let me know that he is out and to thank me for everything. He went to jail a year ago and had been one of our regulars on Wednesdays for lunch. We stayed in touch the majority of the time he was in jail. When I saw him, his girlfriend and his baby through that screen door, I was overjoyed! I knew he was getting out soon, but that he just needed to find a place to parole to. But I didn't know he was out of jail until just a few minutes ago. WOW! It just blessed me to see his face. I think I felt like the father of the prodigal son. :) We talked about him staying out of trouble and doing something productive with his time. I told him that I didn't want to get anymore letters from jail and that he better not do anything else to go back there. We all stood in a circle and prayed for their future. Today I saw fruit of the lunch ministry that we do on Wednesdays! I was able to build a relationship with him through serving him lunch every week and then because of that relationship, when he was in jail I was able to write him and speak into his life. Please be praying with me for his success.

Teen Ministry...

2011-04-01T23:03:00.001-05:00

Had a precious time with the teens tonight. 30 kids came, haven't had that many in a long time. God's presence and peace was there. Kids were loved. One said, "I will always have time for you guys," when talking about his busy basketball schedule.

LOVE on a post it note...

2011-03-24T10:18:00.002-05:00

Yesterday we started back up with grilling hamburgers for the young men (ages 18-25). All winter we have been baking cookies and making goodie bags to take to their doors. They loved this, but ALL winter long they asked, "When are you gonna start back up with the hamburgers Rachel?" So, all the guys were excited when they saw us grilling on my porch again yesterday. We wanted to make some kind of spiritual connection with them and show them in a simple way the LOVE that is in God's Word. In the winter, we wrote paraphrased Bible verses or encouraging words on the brown paper goodie bags we were giving them. When it came time to serve them lunch, we needed another creative way to write God's LOVE on something we were passing out. We knew fliers would just end up thrown on the ground. We came up with the idea of putting hand written post-it notes on the chips bags we give them along with the hamburgers. These tough guys rarely express themselves, but when they read these notes, we received a great response! This is what was written on the post it notes, "You're the one that JESUS loves." Below are some of their responses;

One read it out loud and said, "Amen to that!"
Another said, "Thank you for the note"
One young man who barely even says Thank you, said "I like what you wrote on the note Rachel."
And the best response we had was after we passed out the plates, we looked over and saw one of the young men wearing the post it note right in the middle of his shirt. Wow! How great is that!

Needless to say, we will continue using the post it notes to express God's LOVE to them. If you would like to help us, you can buy "super sticky" brand post it notes in non-female colors and mail them to the address below, or you can give a donation and write "post it notes" in the memo. THANK YOU!

East St. Louis Dream Center
P.O. Box 2456
East St. Louis, IL 62202

His high school diploma...

2011-03-09T13:43:00.003-06:00

I just found out that one of our young people, who is also one of the young men we feed each week, will be done with high school in May! He is older because he got behind in school. He doesn't want to go to the graduation ceremony because he would feel awkward being with all the other students. His Mom was concerned about him not attending the ceremony, but I told her that isn't the most important thing. Getting his high school diploma is what is important. And for this young man to get his diploma is a big deal, especially in this community. Young men at his age, usually drop out of high school because they just give up. But he stayed in! I told him over and over again how proud I was of him and he just giggled. Also, that if he decides to go to the ceremony, that I want a ticket to attend. He will also be getting off of probation when he is done with school, which is another huge deal! Thank you God!

The Voice of the Young People...

2011-03-04T16:02:00.004-06:00

Last night another volunteer and I took three of our older boys (ages 17-19) to dinner. We wanted to meet with them to hear there hearts about what they think kids in this neighborhood need. I wrote down about 10 questions to guide the conversation. We let them know that they are the voice of the young people and what they have to say is very valuable to us. They know so much more about what these teens are going through and we needed to hear from them.

I asked the first question and after that, I really didn't have to ask many more. They were so open and one topic led to the next. They brought things up on their own and I didn't even have to ask. It was truly a God moment that almost seems unreal to me as I think about it. They talked and talked and talked. One young man said, "You guys are like my Mom and Dad. I really needed this, I just needed to talk. I think this is something that God set up." Wow! He was right!

When we talked about gangs and drug dealing, one young man said, "When I was growing up, I thought going to jail and selling drugs was a normal part of life. All the men in my family did it, so I just thought that's what everyone does." We asked him what caused him to see things differently and he said, "Someone telling me that I was better than that." About a year ago, these three guys and many others were in a large fight against some other boys in the neighborhood. For a while now, I have been wanting to ask them if they are ok now. When I brought it up, it was almost like the were relieved that we asked them. They said, "You read my mind, I've been wanting to talk to you about that."

I left last night on high, I could hardly sleep because I was so amazed at what God did. It really was a supernatural time of openness and them genuinely sharing their hearts freely with us. God, we are crying out for more moments like this!

Stopping by to see you...

2011-02-24T13:25:00.002-06:00

Yesterday I was sitting on my couch with my windows and doors open. I heard a little voice outside of my door, but I couldn't see anyone. I knew it had to be a small child. I kept hearing them say what I thought was my name. So I decided to take a look. I opened my door and saw one of the boys from the other side of the neighborhood. He is seven. He said, "I came by to see you, but I wasn't sure what apartment you lived in." We talked a little bit about his day and he was going on and on, telling me all he did that day. He was so cute! He randomly said that he lives with his Grandma but when he asked for something to eat, she said they didn't have any food. Sometimes I find that kids say things like this just because they want you to give them something, but they really do have food at home. I decided not to analyze the situation and just give him something to eat. I gave him three oranges and he was happy. When he left, he said, "I'm coming by tomorrow too." I said, "I would love that!"

Encouragement...

2011-02-15T10:34:00.001-06:00

One of the young men asked me this morning, "How are you doing Rachel? I don't mean physically, I mean spiritually and mentally." He was sincere and God really used him to encourage me in the ministry here. Thank you God!

The eyes of a homeless man...

2011-01-27T11:41:00.002-06:00

Lately, God has been gripping my heart for the homeless in East St. Louis. In the past, I would have been afraid to give out money, for fear that they would use it to buy drugs or alcohol. But, now God is doing something in my heart to where I just can't pass them or their needs by. Yes, there is a chance that they could decide to use the money to buy drugs, but there is also a chance that they could also decide to use it to buy food. Even if they did use the money for drugs, I believe that simply knowing that someone has stopped to notice them, ministers God's LOVE to them. Today, I was driving and saw a homeless man walking down the street, pushing his grocery cart. I knew I had to turn around and give him some money, just so he would know that someone cares about him. I put my hand out the window to give it to him and the look of gratitude in his eyes melted my heart. He said thank you twice. Those eyes looked sad and worn. I'm praying that God would melt his heart towards Jesus.

Selling their bodies...

2010-12-22T09:50:00.003-06:00

Lately it's been too cold to prayer walk, so we have been driving around the city and praying in different areas where God leads. Each time, He always leads us to the right place at the right time. At the end of these times, we know that something has been done in the unseen realm, either damage to the devil's kingdom or advancing God's kingdom. Today we were driving in an area that I'm not too familiar with and down one of the streets we saw a prostitute. I've driven down this road before and at one time I saw five prostitutes, one standing down each side street. Today we only saw one. She was standing further down the road, but when we drove past her we made eye contact. Our hearts were gripped. We prayed for her and the other women who sell their bodies on those streets. We circled the blocks of that area and drove back to the road the woman was standing on. Only a few minutes had past, but by that time she was gone. We prayed that God would send people to love on her with His LOVE. We prayed for purpose and a vision, for healing and restoration. My heart ached for these women.

Other ministries...

2010-12-15T09:40:00.000-06:00

We drove around Washington Park (a nearby town) to pray this morning. We saw several ministries and churches that I didn't know were out there. It was so encouraging and fulfilling to know there are other ministries nearby reaching out in the same way!

Homeless...

2010-12-14T09:48:00.000-06:00

Drove around the city and prayed this morning. It was about 12 degrees. On my way home I saw a man digging in a dumpster for cans. I don't usually give out money, but felt prompted to give him some. He was very gracious. Two young men walking by saw that I gave him money and said, "That was a very blessful thing to do." It was a sweet moment.

Tender love...

2010-12-07T10:04:00.000-06:00

I've been driving around the neighborhood and parking in different spots to pray because it's too cold to prayer walk. In these times, even though the neighborhood is hibernating in doors, God opens my heart to see His tender love for the people.

Volunteers needed...

2010-12-02T10:05:00.000-06:00

I'm looking for volunteers who have a heart to pray. Every Thursday from 2:30pm-3:30pm we meet at my apartment and pray for the city of East St. Louis. If you are not currently involved in ministry in East St. Louis and would like to join us, please contact me at info@eaststlouisdreamcenter.org or 618.482.2791

Trust...

2010-11-19T23:07:00.002-06:00

We had a GREAT time with the teens tonight! We broke into small groups and asked them, "What are some ways that adults can build and earn trust with teens?" They opened up and shared valuable information with us. Below are some of the things they said;

If I've known them for a long time.
They don't do anything that would make me mad.
But, if they do something wrong they apologize.
I have to have a special bond with that person.
I gotta connect with them.
If they trust in me and believe in me, I will trust in them.
When they share things with me about their own life.
When they understand me.
Talking about real life stuff with me on a consistent basis.
They gotta earn my trust.

This time of meeting with them was so precious. I feel that we really got to know them better. We shared our hearts with them... that we want to do our best to build trust with them so they feel safe with us.

Birthday prayer...

2010-11-03T14:15:00.000-05:00

One of the homeless men walked up to my porch and asked for prayer. Today was his birthday, so he wanted to thank God for letting him live 46 years. After we prayed for him, he was very grateful and kind.

LOVE takes guts...

2010-10-28T09:30:00.001-05:00

Sat on my porch this morning to pray for the neighborhood. The walls around the hearts of the people here will only be melted down with kindness and LOVE. Remembering again... Kindness is BRAVERY and LOVE takes guts.

Pictures of the Neighborhood

Pray for the City...

2010-10-22T10:31:00.002-05:00

Every Thursday afternoon, a volunteer and I pray for the precious city of East St. Louis. God takes us on adventures throughout the city and leads us to different areas that are on His heart. Sometimes we pray together at my apartment, other times we go to different areas of the city to pray. Recently, we went to the Mississippi Riverfront on the Illinois side which is in East St. Louis, not even mile away from the neighborhood I live in. We sat at the waterfront and dreamed with God. The Missouri side of the Mississippi is beautiful, with the arch, park and beautiful landscape. But, when you look at the Illinois side of the river, it's not as beautiful. We prayed for restoration of this waterfront. That God would begin to make it beautiful, with businesses, beach fronts, etc. An area where people can come to be refreshed and see beauty. Believing for Him to begin the work.

Their LOVE Language...

2010-10-20T17:00:00.003-05:00

For about a month now, the guys have been asking about playing basketball after we serve lunch on Wednesdays. I have been hesitant because the last time we tried it, the guys that helped set up the hoops took off afterwards and left me and a few young teens to take the hoops down. Not a good thing because they are so heavy. Also, this time I had a volunteer with me so I was more willing to let them play because sometimes basketball can get heated and out of control. So, this time when they asked again I said no unless I knew that they would commit to help set up and tear down. They did! They played basketball for about an hour. It was so great to see the smiles on their faces! I believe basketball is a LOVE language of these young men.

Prayer Walking

2010-10-14T10:30:00.000-05:00

Prayer walking is an essential and powerful part of this ministry. I prayer walk three times a week and a volunteer comes with me once a week. Prayer walking helps me to see what is going on in the neighborhood and allows me to pray for those specific needs. Recently as we were prayer walking, we heard of a woman who was in a fight with her boyfriend and was using a knife. We were able to pray peace into this situation. Shortly after we prayed, we saw the boyfriend. He had minor cuts, but had done nothing to clean up the cuts. He had blood on his clothing. We encouraged him to get the cuts cleaned so they wouldn't get infected. Prayer walking allows us to see things, then put a stop to them by taking authority over them in prayer. Thank you JESUS!

Prayer in the Moment...

2010-10-13T10:36:00.000-05:00

Since I live in the neighborhood that I minister in, I see a lot that goes on. Fights, for example. When I hear people arguing or see physical fights, I am able to pray at that moment. In these times, God shows me His heart that aches for the people. Many times, because of prayer, I have seen these fights break apart within minutes of starting. The wonderful thing about prayer is, that it's preventative. Many things that could have happened, didn't because of the power we have in JESUS to pray.

He married her...

2010-09-29T10:01:00.001-05:00

A 25 year old young man in the neighborhood married the lady who he has been living with. He told us, "Just wanted to make sure we did the right thing." This is rare and a beautiful miracle. Thank you God!

Wonderful neighbors...

2010-09-28T10:27:00.000-05:00

Went prayer walking this morning and was reminded of how God has blessed me with such wonderful neighbors in John DeShields.

Confronting...

2010-09-22T14:41:00.000-05:00

Just served the guys lunch. One of them has used our basketball hoops twice without permission, when he thought I wasn't home. I knew I needed to confront him, but was waiting for the right timing. God set it up today. :) He responded very well, with respect. I was actually shocked at how he received the correction. I believe this was a breakthrough moment with him.

Not going anywhere...

2010-09-18T14:42:00.000-05:00

Last night we had our Teen Recreation Program. 23 kids came! At the end we circled up and told them, "We've been doing this five years and we're not going anywhere. We love you guys and want you to be able to come to us if you need anything." We shared how much JESUS loves them and 6 kids rededicated their lives to Him!

Too see a generation raised up for JESUS...

2010-09-15T10:09:00.003-05:00

Two days ago I returned from a trip to Los Angeles, CA. While I was there, I stayed at the Los Angeles Dream Center, where I lived and volunteered for a year and a half from 2002-2004. When I volunteered there we worked with kids and teens who lived in a crack house hotel in downtown Skid Row. These kids stole my heart. They were the toughest kids I have ever worked with. They lived in violence and extreme poverty... in horrible living conditions. After I left there in 2004, I have went back two times to track them down and visit them. This time when I saw them, they are all in their 20's. Many of them I didn't get to see, but heard from others that they are doing well. The hotel that they lived has no one living in it now and is being restored to be nice apartments. This trip let me see how God can take a whole generation of kids and turn things around for them. When we were there in 2002, all we did was spend time with them, any free time we had, we took them to different places they had never been and found any excuse we could to be there with them in the Skid Row hotel they lived in. As I was there this time, I saw that we were a piece of God's puzzle to bring them to Jesus. They aren't perfect but they are headed in the right direction, they have better lives than they did when we first met them. I saw what a difference simply being there and spending time with them made in their lives. Being in L.A., seeing the kids again and seeing what the L.A. Dream Center is doing in the inner city, refreshed my vision for East St. Louis and the young people here. That trip stirred up an ache in my heart to see a whole generation raised up for JESUS out of this neighborhood, out of this city. My dream is that in 20 years from now, I will see these kids serving JESUS and loving Him, pouring into the generation behind them.

Looking out for me...

2010-09-02T09:51:00.000-05:00

As I was walking into my apartment, a man said, "I'm always looking out for your apartment, you don't gotta worry." This man doesn't even live in the neighborhood, but is here visiting often and he takes it upon himself to look out for me. When people tell me things like this, I feel so LOVED by God.

He found him...

2010-08-25T14:50:00.001-05:00

One of the young men who regularly came to lunch on Wednesdays has been in jail for a few months. I called every jail I knew to call, but couldn't find him. This morning, one of the young men told me which jail he is in. I just put a letter in the mail to him. I feel like a mother who just found her missing child. Thank you God for finding him!

A job and a purpose...

2010-08-19T09:33:00.001-05:00

Just got done prayer walking and saw a man from the neighborhood. Most people shun him because they say he's crazy. He spends most of his time drinking and wandering the neighborhood. But, this morning he told me he got a job! So glad for purpose. He is a precious man and I know that God has a good plan for his life.

Small signs...

2010-08-18T15:30:00.000-05:00

Small signs of hearts softening bring me so much hope of what God will do with a life! We just got done serving lunch to the young men in the neighborhood, who many would call "thugs." One of toughest ones completely surprised me with how he treated another young man who most people in the neighborhood make fun of regularly. He actually showed his respect by reaching out to shake his hand. Thank you God!

Baseball game...

2010-08-17T14:54:00.007-05:00

We took our kiddos to a baseball game last Friday. It was super hot but we had a blast! It was great to spend quality time together just laughing and having fun.

Menard Prison...

2010-08-13T09:36:00.000-05:00

On my way to Menard Prison to visit a young man who is there for 23 more years. He is now serving God; doing a correspondence Bible School, studying the Word and attending the prison chapel. Praying that God will use me to bring hope and encouragement to his life. :)

Melting hearts...

2010-08-12T17:35:00.000-05:00

Knowing that God is changing a heart when a 15 year old "tough boy" yells and waves across a basketball court with several of his friends around, "I'm leaving now Rachel. Bye." This never would have happened a year ago but through much refusing to let his "toughness" get to me, I think he finally saw that I really do care about him. Thank you God for melting hearts!

Healing...

2010-07-30T16:30:00.000-05:00

Today I was setting up to serve the young men lunch and one of them walked up to my porch to ask for prayer. He said that he had been having pain in his chest. I asked him if I could pray for him in about 15 minutes when we were done serving lunch. He said he would come back. So often, when people tell me they're going to come back, they don't. So, I wasn't sure if he would be back. I finished taking things into my apartment and walked back outside. He was sitting on my porch waiting. I was shocked! I asked him to lay hands on the part that was hurting and I would put my hand on his to pray for healing. He was very receptive. I just saw him today and he said it is much better and he knows that he needs to relax more so he won't have that pain. Thank you God for this opportunity!

He's Rebuilding Again...

2010-07-29T16:43:00.001-05:00

The first thing God told me to do when I stepped out to do this ministry was to pray once a week for the city. In these times of prayer, God has opened His heart about East St. Louis and let me see the good things he has for the city. Now, a friend comes on Thursdays to pray with me and it has been such a blessing! I'm praying for God to send more people who will join us in prayer. Each week is different. We start with worship and then go in the direction God is leading for that day. Sometimes, we drive around the city and pray, other times God will lead us to a location and we sit in my car to pray over that area, other times we stay in my apartment and pray. It's always an adventure! This last Thursday the prayer focus was;

Jeremiah 29:7 (NIV) Also, seek the peace and prosperity of the city to which I have carried you into exile. Pray to the LORD for it, because if it prospers, you too will prosper."

We drove around different parts of the city speaking God's peace and prosperity over the city. As we did this, we knew in our hearts that things were moving in the Spirit. One area we focused on was the downtown area of East St. Louis. Downtown used to be a flourishing area, but now there are many abandoned buildings. We prayed that God's great plan for downtown would PREVAIL.

There is an abandoned hospital building (Gateway Hospital) which has been recently torn down. I wanted to show my friend, so we drove past it. Anytime I see an abandoned building in this city and it gets torn down or sold, I rejoice! I know that it is a major victory! There are strongholds that don't want this city to be rebuilt for fear that it will become beautiful and people will be drawn to the city instead of repelled by it. This hospital has sat there vacant for 21 years. Over the past few months I have driven past it just to see the progress. Once I stopped to ask what the plans were for the land. They told me they are planning to build a park in its place. This is a miracle! Today as we drove by we saw piles and piles of bricks. I rejoiced because I know this is a picture of what God is doing in the lives of the people in East St. Louis. He is not only re-building the city but he is re-building the lives of the people in the city as well.

Below are some videos of during demolition and after demolition.

Teen prays for me...

2010-07-09T15:56:00.004-05:00

Yesterday one of the teen boys came to my door to ask when we're having Teen Ministry again. We chatted for a bit then I told him that I've been praying for direction about when to start having Teen Ministry every Friday instead of just the 1st and 3rd Friday of the month. I asked him if he would be praying for me about that. He said, "Yes, do you want me to pray for you right now?" I was so blessed by him. He prayed a prayer that was straight from the heart and so genuine. One of the things he prayed was, "God, you know that kids get into trouble on Friday nights because their bored. They don't have anything to do, so they hang out with the older people and start doing what they're doing. Help us to be able to have Teen Ministry every Friday." I've asked this boy to pray for me several times before and I see the prayers answered. He inspires me! He's only 13 years old and he has a precious heart for God.

Out of the jaws of hell...

2010-07-06T11:27:00.001-05:00

About 13 years ago, my pastor prophesied to me and said, "You will seize prey right out of the jaws of hell." Since then, I have held that promise close to my heart. I've thought on this promise often and wondered, "God, isn't the neighborhood I live in right in the jaws of hell?" I knew it was, but I believed this promise meant something more specific than just living here among the people. One day, I simply said to God, "Lead me to the jaws of hell." When I prayed this, I meant, "God, lead me to those people who are in situations that are like hell on earth, the dark places. Lead me to the situations and bondages that no one talks about, where people will open up about the dark things their involved in instead of always saying, 'Yeah, I'm fine.' God, let me be there in the moment of tragedy and crime. Lead me to the places where the devil has people right in his jaws, needing to be rescued by the LOVE of Jesus and the Power of God."

I forgot that I prayed this prayer until recently when I began finding that God had me ministering in these "jaws of hell." When God had me start cooking for the young men (ages 18-25) on Wednesdays I didn't foresee what a simple plate of food would lead to. But since beginning to feed them two years ago, I have seen the open doors into their lives and their darkness that these simple plates have provided.

Out of these many young men that come through on Wednesdays, there are always ones that God causes to stand out to me and puts on my heart more strongly than others. These are the ones that make my heart ache when I see them living how they do, or when I hear that they are put in prison, involved in criminal activity or have died a young death. Two weeks ago, I was given some sad news about one of these precious young men who regularly came on Wednesdays. I will call him Christian. Through reading a news article, I found out that he murdered his girlfriend and then took his own life. When I found this out, my heart felt like a brick was dropped on it. I can't say that I know what it's like to be a mother of a child who you have given birth to, but these young men are sons to me. They are sons of my heart and sons of my prayers.

Two weeks before Christian's death, God had connected me on a deeper level to his family. I have known them for a while, but through an open door, another minister friend of mine and I were able pray for his grandmother and uncles. We spent a chunk of time, just being there in the home and praying for healing of their bodies. The second time we went to visit this family, Christian was there for a moment, this was the last time I saw him a few days before his death.

I attended his funeral with some other friends of mine. Many of the funerals I attend when a tragedy occurs are very heavy. All of the blame for death gets put on God. The people leading the ceremony say, "We don't know why they died, but God knows, it was just their time to go and God took them." A funeral is heavy enough to begin with, but when you are weighed down with untruthful words like this, it makes it even heavier. But, Christian's funeral was different. It was very sad, but also inspiring. A few male family members got up to speak and a running thread through each speech was, "Young men, it has to change, these deaths have to stop. You have to watch what you're thinking otherwise you will end up doing the same thing." As I listened, I felt like these older men were speaking the same words that I have been praying to God. When I saw him laying there in the casket, the heart that God had given me for him welled up inside, flowing out into tears. I walked to my seat and in every row I saw people from my neighborhood, John DeShields. Spread throughout the church, were the other young men that come for lunch on Wednesdays. I could tell that they were simply in shock. This was the third violent death of their friends in the last year and a half of young men from this neighborhood.

When I attend these funerals, I often think, "Is coming to these funerals doing any good?" But, yesterday I saw the effect that it has. One of the older men, who watched Christian grow up, stopped me as I was prayer walking. He said, "Much respect to you Rachel for coming to the funeral. That's cool." He then stuck out his fist for me to "pound it." This is a guy who I have felt disrespected by over the past few months, so this was a, "Wow, thank you God," moment.
This story is more of a pouring out of my heart instead of a solution to a problem. I just know that I want it to stop. I want to see these precious young men rise up and be ALL that God has called them to be. Even though they are involved in darkness and have broken lives, they TRULY ARE WONDERFUL. God has GOOD and ANOINTED plans for their lives. Even Jesus, while hanging on the cross next to a criminal, forgave him and sent him to Paradise in Luke 23:39-43. This was Jesus' last act of mercy for an individual before He died for all of us. He has mercy, forgiveness, salvation and a beautiful calling for the criminal.

I need volunteers to help me minister to these precious young men on Wednesdays. Even if you are a woman and you are sensing a heart for them, they desperately need tender, caring mother figures, just as much as they need caring father figures. If you are sensing God leading you to do this, please call or email me and we can talk more about it. The time commitment would be 11:30am-3:15pm. If you are only able to commit to twice a month instead of every Wednesday, that would work as well. Also, if you are not able to or don't sense a prompting, but you know someone else who would be interested, please send this information to them or send me their contact information.

I was recently reminded that Christian gave his heart to Jesus. There is a wonderful urban ministry called Streetlights that my church does in this same neighborhood on Saturdays. They were able to lead him to Jesus on January 23, 2010. Thank you God!

These are the verses that keep my heart hopeful to what God will do with these young sons.
Isaiah 49:17-18, 22-23 (NIV)

17 Your sons hasten back,
and those who laid you waste depart from you.
18 Lift up your eyes and look around;
all your sons gather and come to you.
As surely as I live," declares the LORD,
"you will wear them all as ornaments;
you will put them on, like a bride.
22 This is what the Sovereign LORD says:
"See, I will beckon to the Gentiles,
I will lift up my banner to the peoples;
they will bring your sons in their arms
and carry your daughters on their shoulders.
23 Kings will be your foster fathers,
and their queens your nursing mothers......
Then you will know that I am the LORD;
those who hope in me will not be disappointed."

Just remembering...

2010-07-02T12:21:00.002-05:00

Just remembering that today marks 92 years since the East St. Louis Race Riot on July 2, 1917.

Tender hearts...

2010-06-28T13:15:00.000-05:00

Recently there was some shooting on the main street in front of John DeShields. No one was killed but three young men were injured, two were shot in the leg and one in the stomach. As time goes on, I see more and more clearly why God had me start something as simple as serving the young men lunch. Because of this simple act of service, it has been a door way into the hearts and of these guys that are involved in so much darkness. I have only been able to see one of them since then because often when these kinds of things happen, people go into hiding mode at least for a month or so. One of the young men who were shot had just come the week before to play basketball after lunch one Wednesday. After that day, he has been so much more open to me, yelling hi at me from across the street, when most of the time if the guys are in a group of friends they put on the tough exterior because they want to look cool in front of their friends. He even apologized for cussing in front of me when before he wouldn't have even noticed it was coming out of his mouth. Thank you God for tender hearts.

This GREAT city...

2010-06-23T13:19:00.001-05:00

At the beginning of June, I ran into a young lady that I mentored over the years. We hadn’t seen each other for a few years and she is now in her early 20’s. I gave her my phone number again and told her to call me anytime. A few weeks after that, she called to ask for prayer. She said that her brother was charged with murder. But he said he didn’t do it and she believes he didn’t. We prayed that God would bring justice to the situation, reveal anything hidden in darkness and expose the truth as to who did it. I encouraged her to thank God for working things out any time she starts to worry. She said, “I always think of you as my angel that God sent to me, thank you so much for all of your help.” I got off the phone, once again in awe of God that He let me be right in the middle of the jaws of hell able to bring light to others.

I know that God has wonderful plans for this city. It is a beautiful city that God has called as His very own. He has ANOINTED plans for East St. Louis. When He sees this city, He doesn’t see crime and death, He doesn’t see darkness. He sees the potential that East St. Louis has and the potential of the wonderful people here. He doesn’t see the problems. He looks right past the problems, to the future of this city that He wants to make GREAT! He wants to raise up drug dealers, gang members, pregnant teens and single moms to minister to this city that has a GREAT future and a GREAT hope (Jeremiah 29:11).

The powerful name of JESUS...

2010-06-18T19:11:00.000-05:00

A minister friend of mine and I went to an apartment to pray for some healing needs that I knew a family had. While we were there, the children and a young adult daughter in the home began to open up to us about some demonic things in their home that they thought were ghosts. These things had been happening for years, but they thought people would think they were crazy if they shared them. So they just lived with it. We shared with them that these evil things that have been tormenting them and showing up in their home are demons, not ghosts. That day the older girl shared many other things that she has seen and been involved with that she knew were evil. We led her in a prayer of salvation and a prayer of renouncing those things. A week later, her younger sisters opened up about more things they had seen. We led them to Jesus told them that now they can tell those demons to “Go in the name of Jesus,” and to say His name when they feel afraid. Their father got saved the previous week and later came to my door asking for prayer because of the problems he and his wife were having. In a week’s time, I watched God turn hearts of an entire household to Him. Thank you God!

Teen Ministry Basketball

2010-06-09T10:51:00.002-05:00

So thankful for angels...

2010-05-18T10:10:00.003-05:00

Today as I was prayer walking I thanked God that He has His angels surrounding me protecting me every where I go. Lately, I have been asking God to show me the people in this neighborhood who truly are on my side, welcome me here and who have my back. I went to an apartment to give a young lady one of my sweatshirts and her step dad came to the door. I have never met him, but he said he's seen me before. We got to talking about his 16 year old son and how God had a plan for him even though he's been into a lot of trouble. I found out that he was a Christian. This is always an encouragement to find people who have a relationship with God. He asked me if I am ever afraid when I walk in the mornings. I told him, "No, because I know that God's angels surround me." He agreed. As we were ending the conversation, he said, "I saw a car pull up next to you while you were walking earlier and I waited to make sure it was someone that you knew. Then when I saw you walk over to the car, I realized you knew them. I was just looking out for you. So, yeah, God does have His angels protecting you." I thanked him, I was so grateful. God surprised me! Another thing, he was a tough guy, tall, built... someone you want to have on your side. :) I wouldn't have known this man was looking out for me, unless he told me. I was so thankful to God that he let me see that people are looking out for me. Because I don't always "feel" like people are on my side, it is so good to be reminded that there are people in this neighborhood that do care about me and are looking out for me even when I don't "feel" like they are. God is SO FAITHFUL! He LOVES us so much that He gives us His angels.

Psalm 91:11-12 (Amplified Bible) For He will give His angels [especial] charge over you to accompany and defend and preserve you in all your ways [of obedience and service]. They shall bear you up on their hands, lest you dash your foot against a stone.

The dark places

2010-05-11T10:25:00.003-05:00

After the incident happened with the two young men getting shot, it had been over a month since I saw them. I wondered how they were doing, so I asked God to bring them around here so I could see them. I didn't have either of their contact information, so I knew the only way I would see them is if they came back here to John DeShields. Last week, I saw both of them on the same day. It was a surprise from God! I was prayer walking and I heard someone yell, "Rachel." I looked around but didn't see anyone. Then the voice said, "I'm up here." I looked but still couldn't tell who it was because I was far away. He said, "It's me, Gabriel." He was in the 2nd story window of one of the apartments. I was so excited and ran over to the window, looking up as I talked to him. I told him that I've been thinking a lot about him and wondering how he was doing. He said his leg was doing better and he is walking much better since he has been going to physical therapy. He was like a different person than the boy I knew before I visited him in the hospital. He was happy to see me, kind and even responded with, "I love you too," after I told him I loved him. I was so excited to see him that I told him I loved him two times throughout our conversation and both times he responded back. The walls were gone. The hardness was gone. Being able to visit him after he was shot formed a bond that was not there before. God blew me away! Later on that day I was driving back to my apartment and I saw the other young man who I will call James. He was the one who got shot in both of his hands. The last time I saw him was when he came to my door with bloody hands. I asked him how his hands were and he said one was worse than the other and they are going to have to do three more surgeries on it. I asked him if I could pray for his hands that they would heal quicker than expected. He said sure. We went to his girlfriend's apartment and and I laid hands on both of his hands to pray for him. This morning I saw him when I was prayer walking and now I can tell there is a bond between us. He said with kindness, "Good morning Ms. Rachel." Most of these young men do not call me "Ms.," they just call me Rachel, so that was a huge sign of respect. I live here with them and serve the guys lunch, but I believe showing up at that hospital was a proving time. It proved to them that I'm not afraid to get into the dark places of their lives and because of this, they have let their guards down. When their guards are down it's so much easier to minister to them. I am so thankful to God for this and I pray for more opportunities to be there in the "dark places."

Cleaning up the blood stains...

2010-05-01T14:27:00.002-05:00

One morning in the beginning of April at 5:15am, I was awakened by the sound of several gun shots. I looked outside to see if everything was okay. I heard someone yelling, "I'm shot, I'm shot, I'm shot." I couldn't see the person, but I heard him. At first, I honestly thought someone was joking around because it didn't sound urgent or desperate. The voice sounded like they were just saying, "I'm shot," just to say it.

So often there are gun shots in the neighborhood, and people are not hit, it's just people firing into the air. I waited a minute and didn't call 911 right away. About a minute later a guy ran to my door with blood all over his hands. He had been shot in both of his hands. He said, "I'm shot, let me in!" I've never seen this guy and I didn't know the situation behind it. I didn't know if someone was after him, or if this was an accident. I didn't want to put myself in danger, so I told him, "I can't let you in, but I'm calling 911." Immediately, he ran to another door of someone he knew and went inside. I called 911.

Within a few minutes I realized there were actually two guys who had been shot, the one who came to my door and the one who was yelling, "I'm shot." Since I couldn't see this young man, but knew he was on the other side of the building, I asked my neighbor to walk with me over to where he was. We walked up to him and I realized that it was one of the guys who comes for lunch on Wednesdays. Because he is 18, he has also come to Friday Night Teen Ministry before as well. He doesn't come often to either ministry, but when he does, he is disrespectful and rude. Most of the guys are respectful, or if they aren't that way at first, they change fairly quickly. But this young man who I will call Gabriel has remained distant,cold and disrespectful. My heart would break for him when I would see him, but I kept my guard up. But this night as I saw him shot in the leg, my heart was moved with compassion despite how he had treated me in the past.

When I got over to him there were a few people around him. He was trying to get up and walk to the ambulance. I told him to just sit and wait so he wouldn't make the wound worse. Some of his friends and cousins around him said, "Do you want us to come to the hospital?" He looked around and said, "I want all of you to come." When he said this, he looked at me as well. I don't know if he looked at me on purpose or on accident, but I decided that I didn't care if he wanted me there or not... I was going. These guys who come for lunch on Wednesdays are like sons to me. As I pray for them, see how they live their lives, see their hurts, their addictions and the PURPOSE God has for them, they have become my sons that I carry in my heart. I love them dearly. So, I decided not to let this son go, no matter what I thought he would think about me. By how he has acted towards me in the past, I was pretty sure he didn't like me or want anything to do with me, so I wasn't sure what his response would be when I showed up at the hospital. But, I have seen God use situations like this to melt the coldest heart and form a lasting bond between me and the hard hearted.

I arrived at the hospital and his mother and sisters were there. They looked at me like, "What are you doing here?" I explained who I was and how I know him, then they warmed up. They began to share with me that he doesn't live in my neighborhood but he is always there hanging out with the wrong crowd. They told me the story of what happened that night. Gabriel was walking down the street and a car pulled up to him. The guys in the car acted like they were going to shoot him, but Gabriel grabbed the waist of his pants to act as if he had a gun, so the car pulled away. A few minutes later he was in my neighborhood, a few buildings over from mine when the same car pulled up to him again. They pulled out an AK-47. firing several rounds. One of the bullets hit his leg. Another bullet went through the apartment window of the young man who had earlier come to my door with blood on his hands. The bullet went into his window and hit his hands.

As we waited to be able to see Gabriel, God gave me an opportunity to pray with his Mom and sisters and get his Mom a coffee. Gabriel's mother and sister went into see him. Thankfully the wound didn't go all the way through his leg or hit bones, etc. But since the bullet was so large, it knocked off a piece of his leg bigger than the size of a golf ball. As I waited there, I prayed in tongues silently that there wouldn't be any retaliation. I was aching on the inside because so often I have seen things like this turn into wars which last months, one side fighting against another.

His Mom came out and told me that he wanted to see me. When she mentioned to him that I was there, he said, "Yeah she's cool, I want to see her and have her pray for me." I was so thankful that God was giving me favor with him. I was able to be in the room during the most painful part of cleaning the wound. When I walked in the room, I stood by his bed and grabbed his hand. I looked him in the eyes and told him how much I cared about him and that it would be okay. We looked at each other almost in shock, but in a good way, Gabriel thinking, "Why would she want to be here?" and I was thinking, "Wow, God, I'm so honored that you let me be here." He looked me in the eyes and with sincerity said, "Thank you Rachel for coming." I have never heard thank you come out his mouth before, so it really blessed me.

The doctors needed to do a test on his leg which required a large needle being inserted into his knee. I sat at the foot of the bed and put my hand on his foot. He screamed because it hurt so badly, so I put my hand on his foot and prayed. He continued to scream because he was in so much pain, so I went up by his head and rubbed his head to try to calm him down while I prayed. I stayed in the room for a while and then left so his girlfriend could come back in the room. I waited in the waiting room with his family and the family of the other young man
who was shot in his hands. We were there for about 3 hours then Gabriel was released.
The other young man had to stay longer because he needed surgery on his hands.

I left the hospital in awe. I was so amazed at God and that I He had me in John DeShields when it happened. He had me at the right place at the right time. I was so thankful to Him! It was a huge ministry opportunity. I came home and went outside to clean up the blood on my porch. Not all of it came up, but in a way, I was glad that it didn't. It is a reminder to me that the blood of Jesus is greater than any blood spilled in this city.

I went around to the building behind mine to clean up Gabriel's blood as well. As I cleaned up those blood stains, I almost felt like I was doing something symbolic. I was happy to clean them up, because it seemed to represent what happened that morning at the hospital and what I do every day. I believe being there at the hospital was an act of "cleaning up the blood."I was able to plead with both families not to retaliate. I believe that through our prayers and acts of God's LOVE, we are "cleaning up the blood" that has stained this city for decades.

I haven't seen Gabriel since that morning, but I believe He felt the LOVE of God that day. My prayer is that a seed was planted in his heart that will eventually draw Him to JESUS.

God wanted him...

2010-04-30T14:32:00.000-05:00

About a month ago, one of the guys I feed lunch to on Wednesdays came to a revival service with me. He is 18 and I will call him Victor. I was already taking two of the teen girls and he happened to be at their house when I picked them up. I invited him to come, but right away he said no. I usually leave it at that if people say no. But, I just kept asking him and I knew it was the Holy Spirit through me compelling him to come. He gave many excuses, but finally said, "You know what, I'm gonna go, it must be really important because you keep asking me." As I spoke to him, the girls were helping me encourage him to come. They told me that one of the main reasons he wanted to stay in the neighborhood that night was so he could sell drugs. They climbed into my car and as I pulled away it was another one of those "in shock" moments. I couldn't believe he actually came. You see, these guys who come on Wednesdays, the majority of them wouldn't want to blow their tough cover by getting in a car with me. I understood that, so jokingly, I told him, "You can duck in the back seat if you want to." He said, "No, it doesn't bother me to ride with you Rachel." We got our seats and the church was full of FREEDOM and the Presence of God. This is why I believe these young people were drawn to come to the services with me. They had never seen church like this before, there was dancing, shouting and people passionately worshipping God, holding nothing back. Even though this was foreign to them, they loved it and took it all in. They are surrounded by bondage every day, but in this place was the FREEDOM of Heaven, so they knew something was different and they liked it. They had an alter call for people who wanted freedom from a wounded heart. Victor gladly raised his hand. I went up to the front with him and the minister noticed him and called one of his young people on the team to minister to him. This other young man had tattoos all over his arms just like Victor and noticed they both had a tattoo which represented the same thing. So this brought an instant connection. The young man on the team also used to sell drugs and was addicted to them. He lived a life on the streets as well. While Victor was being prayed for, I went back to the girls and asked them if they were sure they didn't want to go up for prayer. They both said no. But, when Victor came back he said, "Man, this is for real. That guy who prayed for me, he was for real. It was good." About a minute later, the girls turned to me and said, "We want to get prayer too." After they heard what he said, it changed their hearts. Further into the service, the minister felt led to do another alter call for those with any other bondages. All three of the kids went up again. :) I just sat back in awe enjoying every minute of watching God draw them and capture their hearts. Everyone there loved on them and made them feel welcomed. On the way home we stopped at McDonalds. The next night, the young man on the ministry team approached me and said the leader of the ministry wanted to take Victor into their discipleship program. They have a program for young adults who need to get off the streets and who are serious about giving their life to Jesus. The majority of the ministry team is made up of young people who have been delivered from some form of addiction or perversion. I went back home to track down Victor to tell him of this good news. He took it all in, but was very torn. You see, his life and family are these streets, so he had a lot to think about in this decision. His mother died a year ago and he doesn't know who his father is. He stays with a friend here in John DeShields, but it's not a permanent place. He has only been out of jail for 6 months, having been in jail two times previously. And he currently had two warrants out for his arrest. I told him to think about it and then I would come find him in a few days to see what he wanted to do. I so desperately wanted him to go. A few days later, I found him and noticed that he seemed upset about something. I asked him over and over what was wrong and he didn't want to tell me at first, but he finally did. He told me that he had just bought a used car and someone stole the stereo. I asked him if he planned on retaliating. He said, "I'm not gonna lie to you, but yes I do." I pleaded with him to not ruin his life even further. I shared with him how obvious it is that God is pursuing him. The people at the ministry want him, even though they were going to have to do a lot of work to get him in because of his criminal past. I had been chasing him down and I told him that this isn't us, but it's God pursuing him through us, because HE WANTED HIM. He said he would think about it some more. Three days later I found out that he went to jail for shooting at some people, thankfully they didn't get hit. I called every jail I knew of and the law enforcement contacts I have, but I couldn't find him anywhere. I believe he was in jail under a different name than the one he had given me. As the weeks went by, I prayed that God would get a hold of him and cause him to remember the encounter he had with God. Just yesterday, I saw him back in the neighborhood hanging out with the same crowd. I'm guessing he was bailed out, but I haven't talked to him yet. I'm just waiting for God's timing. I don't know what will happen next with Victor because he definitely has a record. But I know this... God met him that night at the revival and I believe that He is going to continue chasing after him, letting him know that He wants him.

I will bless those who bless you...

2010-04-18T19:18:00.002-05:00

Some friends of mine called me a few days ago said they had a washer and dryer. They asked if I knew of anyone who needed them. I was so excited because a month and a half ago, my neighbor and I just prayed together and asked God to provide her with a washer and dryer. I told her and she and her husband were in shock and so thankful. My friends brought the washer and dryer today. It was so amazing to watch this couple receive something that they knew was from God. It was evident that He had provided. They were so thankful that when I when I walked out to my car tonight, it was completely clean and spotless. My neighbor's husband wanted to show their appreciation, so he washed my car! I was so blessed because washing my car is one of my least favorite things to do and it was very dirty. My neighbor and her husband always look out for me and have blessed me by being so accepting and protective of me. That day as I watched God bless them, I thought of the verse in Deuteronomy 12:3 that says, "I will bless those who bless you." Over and over they have blessed me without even really knowing it and today God blessed them back in a big way.

Street ball...

2010-03-29T12:36:00.000-05:00

This is a video taken from my back porch. It's short, but let's you see a little of the neighborhood. I was inside this day and heard the boys outside playing basketball. I just had to go out and watch them play. :)

His leading...

2010-03-24T09:24:00.002-05:00

In the mornings when I prayer walk I usually follow the same path each day. But, this morning I told God that I wanted to be open to His leading as I walked, to walk where He wanted me to, when He wanted me to. This was so fun! At times I felt like He had me walking in the same area, like in circles. But, at each step that He led me, I ran into someone and was able to talk to them or give them a hug. He had our paths cross at the perfect time, where if I was walking the normal way and timing that I usually do, I wouldn't have ran into them. These were some of the people who He gave me a chance to interact with;

A 16 year old boy who has major walls every time I see him. I was able to give him a hug and tell him that I love him.
A 15 year old boy who usually has some kind of attitude towards me. I was able to ask him how he was doing and show him affection.
A 22 year old young man who I've never met. I was able to invite him to lunch today when I cook for the guys.
I was looking to buy honey and went to both of the corner stores, neither of them sold it. But while I was there I able to show kindness and respect to the store owners. One of them is most likely Muslim.

I believe these encounters tore down the walls a little bit more and gave me a connection with these individuals. Thank you God for His leading!

JESUS wants the land...

2010-03-17T10:30:00.002-05:00

This morning as I was prayer walking I was drawn to stop and pray over a certain apartment by the Holy Spirit. This was the apartment that was robbed and shot into several times about 6 months ago. Because of this, the family has moved and the apartment is boarded, has graffiti on it and a couple of bullet holes in the windows. It has been vacant since this happened. The apartment just appears to have death and violence on it. There is also a tree in the front of the apartment that has been dead for years and is just standing there. I felt like I was supposed to lay hands on the tree and the apartment and speak life and blessing over it. I looked around to make sure no one was watching :) and laid my hand on the front door. Immediately I felt the Presence of God on me in a strong way. I went to the back door, but an East St. Louis Housing Authority van was parked there so I didn't lay hands on the back door. Hahahahaha, I didn't want them to think I was trying to break in or something. :) I walked away, but felt a prompting to walk around to the back door again. I did and the Housing Authority van was gone. I was able to pray over the back door as well and just spoke the name of Jesus and blessing over the apartment. I walked away and asked God why He had me do that, because no one lives there. I thought how is this apartment affecting the people? Then I just knew.... it's because God wants to take this city, He wants this land. That apartment is part of this land and piece of territory JESUS wants. He's taking it for His Glory, little by little. I'm so excited!

The GREATEST REVIVAL of all...

2010-03-10T11:21:00.002-06:00

Lately, I am finding out more and more that several of the young men that I serve lunch to on Wednesdays are getting put in jail. I know of 6 young men that are currently in prison. I used to get sad and discouraged when I used to hear of guys getting put in prison. But now, I rejoice because I have seen how God can get through to guys when they are in prison. God has them to Himself when they're there and they can't run from Him. Also, I found something recently in a magazine that has encouraged me about these young men that are going to prison. It was a prophesy given by Kenneth Copeland on December 24, 1994. It says, "The GREATEST REVIVAL of all shall be in the prisons of the land. Great ministers of the Gospel shall come out of prisons all over this nation. All over this world."

God is spreading His LOVE through hamburgers...

2010-03-05T10:33:00.003-06:00

I recently received a letter from a young man in his early 20's who is in prison. I will call him John. He used to hang around John DeShields, but was basically homeless, moving from one house to the next since he was 12. His Mother kicked him out. He grew up on the streets, sometimes sleeping in cars and parks. Before he was put in prison, John was one of the young men I served hamburgers to on Wednesdays. He was in prison with another young man who also came for lunch on Wednesdays. John heard from this young man that I had written him several months ago and John wanted to write me. He wrote, "I miss getting hamburger plates from you and I just want to say thank you because you do not have to do that. So thank you." Another testimony about Hamburger Wednesdays is from the young man who I visit regularly. He told me that a different young man who also came for lunch was on his cell block and they were having a conversation about how good the hamburgers were that I cooked for them. God is spreading His LOVE through hamburgers.

Going out of their way...

2010-02-26T15:38:00.003-06:00

The past two Friday nights at Teen Ministry, we have seen our kids hearts begin to melt a little more. Most of the time with our kids, if hugs are given, it is the volunteers approaching the kids. But the past two weeks, the kids have been going out of their way to us hugs. This may seem like a small thing, but it is HUGE! Some of the kids who usually have walls up and act tough are laughing and acting goofy as they play basketball. They are feeling comfortable around us enough to let their guards down and it is a wonderful thing to watch happen.

Giving Jesus a ride to school...

2010-02-22T15:47:00.000-06:00

For about two years now, I have been trying to take kids to their high school on Mondays, but for some reason kids wouldn't show up, they transferred schools, they seemed disinterested, etc. About 3 months ago, I finally found two boys who were interested in going. One of the boys used to be a student of mine when I taught 1st grade in 2001/2002 school year. A few weeks the other boy got in trouble and had to move from his Grandma's back with his Mom. I am careful to not have only one minor in my car with me, so I was left again not being able to take them to school. I went for 3 weeks without taking my past student to school. I believed taking him to school was a God thing, so I searched again for another kid to ride with us. One of the boys in the neighborhood mentioned a girl who I am with often, but just didn't think to take her with us. When he mentioned her name, I knew that it was a right fit. The wonderful thing about these two that I am taking, both of them were students in my first grade class when I was teaching. They were the worst two kids in my class. They were always in trouble and most of the time fighting with each other. We had many confrontations, trips to the office, calls made and letters written to their parents. I went round and round with these two and they gave me trouble on a daily basis, but I loved them dearly. God has always drawn me to the worst ones. But now, over the years God began to restore and rebuild my relationship with them. Today was the first day I took them to school. They were pretty quiet, but it felt like God was sitting in the car with us. I could sense that He was linking our hearts together and that He was softening their hearts. We got to their school and I told them, "Ok, my darlings. Don't give your teachers any trouble and have a good day. I love you." I pulled away from the high school and could just feel the Presence of God in my car. I don't know what it is about these Monday trips to East Side High School, but they are so precious to me and I believe to God as well. I think when I pick them up, Jesus gets in the car too.

Rescued...

2010-02-19T22:12:00.003-06:00

Yesterday a boy came by my door, he was so excited because he had just turned 18. I asked him how he was going to celebrate. He said that some of his family members were going to take him to a club. My heart broke and right away I urged him not to go because of the environment there. He seemed confused because I'm sure he's never heard that going to a club can be harmful, but I could tell he was listening. As the conversation went on, I found out that the club his family was taking him to was a strip club. I felt a holy urgency and I looked him straight in the eyes and firmly told him, "Please do not go. You are like a son to me and I feel like your Mom. I care about you. Do not go to that strip club." He almost seemed shocked but in a good way, I don't know that anyone has got in his face like that in a caring and loving way. He is pretty naive for his age and I believe that he didn't fully understand the destruction or addiction this could bring. He asked some questions and listened to what I had to say. He came by today and I asked him if he was going. He told me not to worry, that he wasn't going and didn't want to go. He was at Teen Ministry tonight and sat down next to me. He turned and looked at me and said with a smile on his face, "Mom!" I believe his stopping by my door was an appointment set up by God. God was setting up a moment for this young man to be rescued out of darkness. Thank you God!

Demons bowing to the name of JESUS...

2010-01-29T19:15:00.003-06:00

Lately I have been asking God to set up supernatural conversations and supernatural appointments that only He could do. Today He did that! I was with one of the young ladies who used to live here in John DeShields. She began telling me how she has been hearing and seeing weird things in her home and it has really been scaring her and her children. She called them ghosts. Right away I explained to her that these are not ghosts, but demons. She went on to share with me that things like this have been happening to her since she was a child. But have been getting worse since she watched a movie called "Paranormal Activity." I asked her if she would allow me to come into her home so I can cast the demons out. She isn't a Christian so all of this was very new to her. She agreed because she was so tired of it happening and being tormented. I told her in order for the demons to leave her house she would need to invite Jesus into her heart because they wouldn't listen if Jesus wasn't the Lord of her life. So, she listened to what it meant to make Jesus her Lord and was just soaking it all in. We prayed the prayer of salvation together and she got saved! We went inside and she began to show me all of the areas of the house where she heard, felt and saw things. I led her in a prayer of renouncing those things and any way that she had let them in. I asked her to go with me into each room and be in agreement with me. The first room we went to was the cellar. As soon as we walked in I could sense a demonic presence and she said she could too. She said each time we began praying or worshipping she could tell they were mad. hahahahaha! Good! We proceeded to go into each room in the basement, worship, exalt the name of JESUS and command the demons to go. The first two rooms they left right away. But then we got to a certain area and I could tell they weren't budging. Then I realized that this home is her Mom's home and this young lady is staying with her Mom. So, her Mom is the head of this household. Her Mom came home and we explained what we were doing. I told her that the demons would leave out of certain rooms but the rooms associated with her they wouldn't leave from. She was a little hesitant and wouldn't completely admit that they were demons, but maybe just things her mind was seeing. I led her in the prayer of salvation and renouncing as well, but I don't know if I can say that it was completely genuine on her part. We then went into her room to cast the demons out. I could still tell they weren't leaving. So, I told her that in order for them to leave she would need to admit that at least some of the things that she has seen and felt were actually demons. So, she finally did and I could tell it was genuine although I believe she was holding some things back. We prayed and I could sense the demonic presence go, but I still felt in my spirit that she wasn't completely letting go. I told the young lady that I believe because she was adamant about the demonic spirits leaving that they wouldn't torment her anymore, but that I couldn't speak for her Mom, because of her reluctance. I encouraged the young lady to try to get a place of her own as soon as she could. I ther to use the name of JESUS any time she needed to and left her with some worship music to play continually in her home. She was so on board with me in each room and area of the house we went into. Even though she just got saved that day and had never done anything like this before, she was totally backing me up in faith. I could feel it! When we went to the garage to pray over it, she began joining with me in saying the name of JESUS out loud. It was wonderful! It was amazing to watch God use a brand new baby Christian to destroy the devil. I was so glad she was with me because I would not have attempted that on my own. Now that she was saved, the devil knew that there were two of us standing against him with JESUS inside of us and he and his demons had to bow to that name. THANK YOU JESUS!!!

My friend...

2010-01-26T16:28:00.002-06:00

There is a man who has been homeless for a couple years now who hangs out near John DeShields. I will call him Mark. He is a very kind man, but he has many problems. He was diagnosed with schizophrenia. I don't take this diagnosis completely to heart, because I know how terribly the devil torments people's minds. He is also an alcoholic. Several times a week he stops by my apartment in the mornings. I step out on my porch to talk to him and close the door behind me. He stops by to let me know of things going on in his life or just to check on me to see how I'm doing. One morning, he stopped by and said that he had some extra change. He wanted to know if he I wanted a soda from the corner store. I said no, but thanked him. One morning it snowed. I walked out to my car and the snow was mostly scraped off. I didn't know who did it. Later Mark stopped by and apologized for accidentally scratching my back window. I didn't know what he was talking about. He had come by early in the morning and used a milk crate to scrape the snow off of my car. He kept apologizing, but I told him I couldn't even see a scratch, but that was very kind of him to be honest with me about scratching my window. Sometimes he will stop by to ask what I think he should do about certain things in life, like which homeless shelter he should go to. Today, was the most exciting visit because he had some good news! He said that he is now staying at a mental health clinic for homeless people and he is going to take a culinary arts class in March. THANK YOU JESUS! I regularly pray for God to continue to soften His heart and make him hungry for deliverance from alcoholism and schizophrenia. I believe He will soon be FREE!

Daily hugs...

2010-01-25T16:47:00.000-06:00

For about a week and a half now an older man, maybe in his 60's stops by my apartment every day to give me a hug. He is so sweet and makes my day. I have known him for years. He is an alcoholic and my heart breaks for him. I think each time he stops by, through each hug, God is melting his heart more and more, so He can draw him to JESUS. I pray that he begins to desire freedom and that God gives me the opportunity to lay hands on him to receive deliverance from alcohol addiction. Freedom is coming!

Invitation to play cards...

2010-01-24T16:39:00.002-06:00

Last night my best friend and I were invited to play cards (spades) with my next door neighbor. They play cards all the time with other people in the neighborhood and it usually turns into a lot of drinking. When I first moved here I went to her house to play spades, but haven't went since then. Her girls mention it every once in a while and say, "When are you coming over again to play cards?" I would always forget about it. Often if she needs prayer or needs to talk about something going on in her life she will ask me to come over or she will come to my apartment. So, last night when her daughter asked if we would come over, I thought there was a problem. We walked in the door and asked if everything was ok. She smiled and said, "I wanted to invite you over to play cards. We just want a different kind of crowd to hang out with." WOW! That statement right there was so wonderful to hear. We played about four games of spades and the team I was on won! Yahoo! We had so much fun, just spending time with them, listening to music and laughing. They were both drinking, but it was so nice to know that they specifically asked us to come. Her two little girls were beaming, they were very glad we came over. This invitation was a sign to me that God is changing her heart.

God is letting me see...

2010-01-20T16:14:00.002-06:00

My window is right above my kitchen sink, so when I was dishes I can see what is going on in the neighborhood. My kitchen sink is a great praying spot! Today as I was washing dishes, I saw one of the boys who comes to Teen Ministry walking by. I opened my door and said hi to him. He walked over to me and I noticed that both of his ears were bleeding. I know that he usually wears large ear rings, but he didn't have them in. His ear lobes were ripped and the one lobe was ripped all the way through. I asked him what happened and he said that he and his friends were playing around. I was pretty sure he was lying to me and that it wasn't just an accident. I grabbed some peroxide and Q-tips and had him clean the blood off his ears. While he was doing this, we both noticed a fight getting ready to start one building down from mine. A large group of teens and young adults started forming in a group. Several of the kids were teens who come to Teen Ministry and also many of this boy's friends. He got ready to take off to head towards the fight, but I wouldn't let him until he finished cleaning off his ears. I stood there and prayed so that the fight would break up. It broke up, but then started up again a few buildings over. I couldn't see it from where I was but prayed. A few nights later as I was driving home, I saw one of the boys who was in the fight walking home. He is also one of the boys I take to school on Mondays. I pulled my car over and asked if I could talk to him. I asked him why they were fighting and he said that some other boys jumped his cousin and they were sticking up for him. My heart just broke as I listened to him, because inside I know he is a tender kid and he has so much potential. I began sharing from my heart about how God has such a good plan for his life and fighting isn't going to change anything. He listened and looked me in the eyes as I talked to him. The other part about this story is that the two groups who were fighting against each other make up more than half of the kids who come to Teen Ministry. All this time I thought they were all friends, or at least acquaintances, but as I spoke to this boy, he said they really aren't friends, but just say hi and bye to each other. For months I have been asking God to reveal things to me about the lives of these kids and bring things out in the open. God is starting to do this, these are not the easiest things to see and hear, but I am so grateful that He is letting me see and know them. This way, we will know how to pray and how to reach them. I feel like I hold all of them at the same time in my heart like a mother and my heart just aches for them to know Jesus and to be free.

Ice Skating Pictures

2009-12-23T13:28:00.007-06:00

Teen Ministry Pictures

2009-12-23T12:21:00.003-06:00

I thought we lost him...

2009-12-09T08:16:00.004-06:00

We have been doing Teen Ministry for 4 years now. When we started, we had anywhere from 30-40 teens that came. Over the years those original teens have been in and out of coming. Some are older and adults now. But there were a few, specifically one boy, who I will call Gerard, who left about 2 years ago and hasn't come back. He still lives in John DeShields, but quit coming to Teen Ministry. He and I had some run ins because from the beginning he had a disrespectful attitude. He was on the verge of getting kicked out until he could show to us that he would be respectful. I also know that I had some growing to do when it came to handling problems that came up with Gerard. There were a few times that I got very frustrated with him and it came out towards him. I later apologized, hoping that maybe he would want to come back. But, he still stayed away. A few months ago, when I began going to the neighborhood center that all the kids attend after school, I began seeing Gerard almost every week. I would just sit on the bench and watch the teens play basketball and he was one of them. If he would make a goal, I would cheer for him or make eye contact with him. He began to say hi to me in a respectful way, where before if I saw him in John DeShields, he would barely look at me. As the weeks went on, one day I walked into the center and he walked right up to me and gave me a hug. Usually if there were any hugs given, it would be me giving one to him. He continued to do this every time he saw me. Wow, I was in shock! I could see that God was beginning to slowly work on his heart. Periodically I would tell him about Teen Ministry and invite him, but he never showed up. But, last Friday he came! He was kind, respectful and had a lot of fun. Towards the end of the night, I walked up to him and said, "I'm so glad you're here." He responded with a smile and said, "I'll be coming again." This past Monday, as the two boys who I take to school got in my car, Gerard saw them and asked if he could have a ride. I of course said yes! I couldn't believe it! I am just sitting back and watching God work on this kid, and it's amazing. It's like he has changed over night. Thank you God for bringing him back to us.

Mentoring the girls...

2009-11-24T12:22:00.002-06:00

About once a month, I spend time with 3 girls in the neighborhood. God has put these 3 girls on my heart to mentor. Sometimes they will help me run errands and other times we just go do fun things together. These times with the girls have been an open door to their hearts. This last time, two of them came and we went to pick up things for the ministry, shopped at Walmart looking at Christmas decorations and afterwards went to have coffee together. As we sat and talked, towards the end of the conversation, these girls opened up and began sharing with me about their home life. I have known both of them for years, but that night, I was able to see a little bit more into their world. I opened up a bit and shared about how the Holy Spirit helped me through my teen years growing up and they just listened intently. I encouraged them to begin running to God when things get hard at home. That night was a precious night and God once again tore down another wall that surrounded their hearts.

All in a RAP song...

2009-11-11T13:31:00.004-06:00

I just got done cooking lunch for the guys. For the past two months I have been grilling outside on my porch. Grilling has allowed me to connect more with the guys because I am outside cooking instead of inside. Outside is where they hang the majority of the time, so grilling has put me more into their world. Over the past three weeks the guys have been hanging longer, coming a little earlier and staying a little bit later. Because of this "hang time" several conversations with them have opened up. Last week one of the guys shared something tragic that happened to his baby, but thankfully it was fixed within a few hours. Today was a breakthrough day. I have been praying that God would let me see into their lives... the way they live, their hurts and how they feel. Today this happened! There is a guy who I will call Shavon. He is always joking around but is always very kind to me. In the past I have wondered if his "joy" was a cover up for pain, but I really didn't know. I have known him for a few years, but getting these guys to open up in any way has been impossible, so I really don't know a whole lot about his life. He raps and makes up his own RAP songs. When he came on my porch he said, "Do you wanna hear my latest song Rachel?" I was shocked and of course said yes, trying not to act too excited. After I showed interest in that one song, he rapped about 5 more songs that he had written as I was grilling and putting the plates together. I began asking him questions about his life, but instead of answering me in a sentence, he answered me in a RAP song that he had written. Through these songs he was sharing his life with me. And what I saw in these songs was pain and a rough childhood. My eyes were opened and a greater connection was made between the two of us. I believe there was a breakthrough today... all in a RAP song.

Praying for wisdom...

2009-11-10T09:57:00.002-06:00

As many of you may know, I am praying about where God would have us settle for our permanent place. We are currently renting the Mary Brown Center, but they will only allow us to rent it for six months. Recently I have been praying about pursuing the Old Lincoln Middle School on Bond Ave. for our established place. Above are some pictures of the building. As of now, I don't have a solid answer from God on it. More than anything I need wisdom and a strong knowing in my heart from Him. Will you be praying that God makes it so clear to me if this is the building that He wants us to have? Thank you so much. I TRULY value your prayers. They are precious.

He ALWAYS has me...

2009-10-30T10:48:00.003-05:00

Two weeks ago there was a series of tragic events that happened in my neighborhood. When things like this happen God always has me either gone somewhere or having just missed it. I don't find out about it until after the fact because I'm not around right when it's happening. He ALWAYS keeps me safe. On a Thursday night, one of the girls and I were passing out flyers to the teens about our new meeting place. We walked past an apartment right behind mine and noticed there were police inside the apartment. I didn't think a whole lot about it, because there are police here often. Later I found out that someone had been robbed at gun point in that apartment. But, we just happened to be covering another side of the neighborhood when it happened. A few days later on a Sunday, I pulled into the neighborhood around 9pm, I had been gone all day. I saw a fight and a lot of commotion. I stood there, rebuked the spirit of strife and prayed for peace. A minute later a police car pulled up, so I went inside believing they had it covered. At that point I didn't know what the fight was about. The next day, Monday, I found out that a young man who has come for lunch a few times on Wednesdays was abducted that night in John DeShields at gun point one hour before I arrived and I suppose this is what the fight was about. The people who abducted him murdered him later on that night. Some people believe this abduction and murder may have been related to the robbery on Thursday night. On Monday, I was gone for about 3 hours. When I returned to John DeShields, there were about 10 police in the neighborhood and some CSI officers. They had some areas taped off with crime tape. I pulled up to my apartment not knowing what was going on until I spoke with a few people in the neighborhood. At this point, I didn't know about the robbery or abduction, but soon found out why the police were here again. An hour before I came home on Monday, around 2pm, someone had fired 5 shots into the apartment that was robbed on Thursday night. The police were there investigating the scene of the crime. Thankfully no one was home when they fired the shots into the apartment. As my neighbors told me the sequence and timing of the events, inside my heart I was just overwhelmed at how perfectly God had directed my steps over the past few days without me even knowing it. He does this ALL the time and truly is the best PROTECTOR I know. Another great part about this, is that a week before all of this happened, a friend had invited me to stay with her for a few days. So that Monday night I went away and spent my evenings there, but came home during the day to work. He allowed me to be in a peaceful place at a time when there could have been much retaliation.

My neighborhood is getting new clothes...

2009-10-17T10:20:00.000-05:00

My neighborhood is getting NEW CLOTHES! By this I mean that every apartment building in John DeShields is getting brand new siding. When I received the notice in the mail, this was not just hope of restored neighborhood on the outside, but a picture of what God is doing on the inside of people's hearts. Years from now this city WILL be unrecognizable to the human eye and to the spiritual eye. This was one sign of HOPE that our God truly is rebuilding the city.

Dice and bullet shells

2009-10-15T15:43:00.002-05:00

When I first started the ministry with the young adult guys, God gave me a way to keep hope about them coming and reaching their lives. One of the big things they do is play dice games on the sidewalks, especially in the summer. On mornings that I prayer walked, I would often see dice laying on the sidewalks in random places. I usually would just pass by these dice, but one day God put it on my heart to begin picking up the dice that I found and that each dice represented a guy that I was believing to come each week. At that time I was only cooking 6 hamburgers a week, so I collected 6 dice to represent 6 guys. I set them up on my desk so I could see them every day to help me to stay in faith that the ministry would grow and that guys would want to come. From summer 2008, until Spring 2009 God built a bond between me and about 6 of the 71 guys who came through in that whole year. There were about 6 guys that came on a regular basis, and the others were ones that came once or twice a month. Since Spring 2009, these guys don't come anymore. Three of them are doing something better with their life and not just hanging out on the streets and three of them are in jail and one of them died in a car crash. There were also a few more that I jsut don't see "hanging out" anymore. Lately I have been wondering why I haven't had a strong burden for the guys I serve on Wednesdays, but then I realized that the ones who came at the beginning aren't coming anymore. So, I began to ask God to build a bond between me and the guys who are currently coming. Also, lately I have been getting more aggravated at them because almost every night for the past month or more they have been shooting. Most of these shots have been into the air, but it is still very disturbing because I get woken up at least twice each night. I know that these shots effect the people in the neighborhood and it's peace. I needed HOPE again to stir my heart for them. So, today when I was prayer walking I saw 3 different bullet shells along my walk. The Holy Spirit prompted me to go back and pick up the bullet shells. He showed me that these bullet shells represent the lives of the guys I am currently serving. I now cook 10 hamburgers each Wednesday, so I plan on collecting 10 bullet shells, to represent 10 guys. This is a new season and I believe the other guys had to move on, some of them had to be put in jail because they were doing wrong things. But, I KNOW and have seen how JESUS can get a hold of someone when they are in prison. Some of this new group of guys may have to go to prison for the past they have been running from and a new group of guys will come again. But, I believe that when they leave, they will leave being served with the LOVE of Jesus. You know, now I rarely find dice laying on the sidewalks, I believe this is a picture of what God did. He ihas picked up their lives. Soon, I believe I will rarely find bullet shells and it will be a picture of God picking up their lives as well.

Like you taught us...

2009-10-14T11:30:00.002-05:00

This morning I was prayer walking and ran into one of the young men. He told me that he recently got a job. I was so excited for him! He also said that he got his younger brother a job and is taking him with him every day to work. He told me that his brother who had quit going to school is now back in school and also working. I was so proud of them! I told him this and this was his response, "We tryin' to get it right. We doin' like you taught us." WOW! Thank you God! Later on that day I got to meet his girlfriend and hold his new baby girl. When he was telling his girlfriend how he knew me, he said, "She's a long time friend of the family." Sometimes I don't know how the people here feel about me or if I am impacting their lives, but God is so faithful and gives me times like this that I can see their hearts.

Can I go with you?

2009-10-07T15:34:00.007-05:00

Yesterday I was able to see some of the fruit of 8 years of pouring into a one of the girls here. I have always showed interest in this girl's life but have been pursuing her more than usual over the past few months. Yesterday I texted her to tell her I missed her. I have told her this many times before, but yesterday was the first time she wrote me back and said she missed me too. Whoa! I couldn't believe it! After that I texted her and asked her the next time she would be at the neighborhood center a block away. I go up there to watch the boys play basketball and noticed she was there the last time I went. She wrote back and said that she was there now and asked when I was coming next. I told her I wasn't sure. But then, the most amazing thing happened. Show wrote back and said, "Can I go with you the next time you go to the center?" I read it and my jaw dropped. This may not seem like a big deal, but this was a VERY big deal! Because for 8 years I have been asking her questions like this. I have been the one making the effort to spend time with her and build a relationship with her. But this time, she was the one making the effort. WOW! All the effort over the years has been worth it!

Healing from pain...

2009-10-07T15:03:00.003-05:00

Every morning that I prayer walk, there is always an older man who is sitting on his porch. We have become buddies and say hi to each other as I pass by. He is very precious. Today as I walked passed, in my heart I heard, "Ask him if he needs prayer for anything." So, I walked another lap around to get back to him. I stopped to ask him and he said, "I had cancer a long time ago and I had surgery on my chest. Ever since then I have had pain every morning and every night from the surgery." I asked him to put his hand where the pain was and I laid my hand on his. After I prayed for him I asked him if he had any pain. I told him to be completely honest because I didn't want him to say he had no pain just to make me happy. He said, "You want me to be completely honest? I have no more pain there and before you prayed for me I did." Aggghhhh!!! I was so excited! I encouraged him about staying in faith and told him I would be back to check on him in a few days. I am asking God for lots more opportunities like this.

Recreation, Relationship and Restoration

2009-10-03T15:15:00.002-05:00

Over the past few months I have been seeking God about His vision for the Friday Night Teen Ministry. We have recently switched the main focus of the ministry to recreation. When God first began to show me to do this, I was a little confused. I thought, "God, how can recreation be beneficial to these kids spiritually?" He showed me that as we provide and participate in recreational activities it would open the door for relationship with these kids. Then through that relationship, they would open up to us. As they would open up to us, we could bring restoration to their lives.
Last night we were able to see this in action. In the prayer time that we have before the kids arrive, we asked God to set up moments where the kids would open up and through Jesus and the words He gives us, bring restoration to their lives. Look at what God did;

One boy shared with a volunteer that his cousin was recently shot and killed and the volunteer was able to pray for him.
One of the girls shared the problems she is having with a guy she is seeing. He is not respecting her and he's treating her bad. A volunteer and I were able to tell her how valuable she is and challenged her to cut ties with this boy.
One of the boys was treating some of the other kids bad, so a volunteer and I confronted him about it. He was very defensive at first, but when we told him that we loved him and that's why couldn't just let him get away with it, his attitude changed. We believe that could have been the first time he was confronted in love instead of anger.

I'm looking and expecting for more God conversations to happen between us and these precious teens!

A puddle of blood...

2009-09-25T10:50:00.005-05:00

In the past month, there has been more violence than in previous months. So, this morning I went prayer walking in order to make a statement to the devil that this neighborhood is not his neighborhood. I walked with purpose as I imagined my feet bringing light and pushing away the darkness with every step. I imagined the blood of JESUS being applied with every step. At that moment I saw a puddle of blood on the sidewalk. It felt like a punch in the stomach. I heard 5 gun shots last night, but I didn't know if they were in the air or at a person. I immediately tried to find someone who knew what had happened. I asked one of the guys we serve lunch to. He said that someone shot a puppy. I was glad that it wasn't a human being, but my heart still broke. Because behind that puppy getting shot, is a lot of pain, anger, evil and the spirit of violence. I talked to some other guys because I just wanted to know why someone would do that. This is what they said, "Stupidity. When they get drunk they do stupid things. They wanted to take something out on someone, so they chose the dog. " Also, I asked them why things have been so violent lately. They said, "You would think it would be worse in the summer, but it's the other way around. It's a war zone over here (on this side of John DeShields). When it starts getting cold, there is less business for selling drugs. So guys fight over corners to sell on. Guys end up piling up on one corner because they all want to make money. Then they start getting violent with each other and those around them. They get angry and take it out on others." It all started to make more sense to me. Unless the people here tell me, God reveals it to me or I see it with my own eyes, I don't know things like what they shared with me. It was an eye opening moment. I left that conversation and just ached inside. I almost let sorrow overtake me, but realized that would not make me dangerous to the devil. So, I continued walking and praying, knowing that each time I put my foot on these streets and sidewalks is making a difference, even if I don't see it every day. I have the light of Jesus, and His blood running through my veins and each step will push out the darkness.

Sitting on a bench, one hour a week...

2009-09-24T19:00:00.007-05:00

One of my favorite times of the week is when I go to a neighborhood center a few blocks away. I go there to watch the teen boys who live in John Shields play basketball. A few months ago one of the guys gave me some advice that I can't forget. He grew up in this neighborhood and had been in prison for 10 years. He said, "You have to go where they are. Get in their world" At first this confused me because I thought living here in their neighborhood was getting "in their world." But he explained to me that for the majority of them to come to my apartment would be like entering another world for them, so I need to go where they are. It made sense. I started seeking out ways that I could do this. I began going to the neighborhood center a few months ago. It was very simple and took little energy. I simply sat on the bench. I watched the boys play basketball, cheered if they made a shot and smiled at them if they happened to make eye contact with me. Each time I went I would say hi to boys, some didn't say hi back or if they said hi, it was a disconnected hello. These boys had been ones who used to regularly come to our Friday Night Teen Ministry, but over the past year stopped coming. I believe it was a combination of reasons, we have had to move many times for a place to meet, they are getting older and want to look cool to their friends, and they're giving in to peer pressure more. So, I felt that I was on a mission to win their hearts back! It happened slowly. Some began to come back to Teen Ministry right away. Others came later on. But the thing that excites me the most was seeing their attitudes towards me change. Now, when I walk into the neighborhood center, they approach me first, they say hi to me first and have even walked up to me to give me a hug. One boy who has been so cold in the past saw me walk into the gym and waved hi to me from the court as he was playing basketball. I am amazed at how God is slowly melting down those walls. Tonight God gave me a divine conversation with one of the boys, who I will call John right there on that bench I have been sitting on for months. At first it was just small talk. How is school? Are you playing any sports? Were you able to find a job? The turning point was when I opened up and said to him, "Some day I want to have a center like this one." He turned and looked at me when I said this. I asked him how his best friend was doing. He began to share that they don't really talk anymore. And it's because his friend was doing something that he didn't agree with. John confronted his friend about it, but he wouldn't listen. They haven't talked for months now. John began to open up about how this hurt him and his feelings about the situation. He said he knows the reason why his friend is going down the wrong path. John said it's because he has no guidance in his life. His Dad has been in and out of jail. His Mom is there, but she is so disengaged that it's almost as if she is not there. John said that over the years he has been that guidance in his friends life. Many mornings he would even wake his friend up and make sure he went to school. But now that the friendship has been severed John has seen his friend go down hill. I'm glad that John was in his friends life to guide him, but a peer should not be the only positive role model in this kids life. An 18 year old should not feel responsible for the life and future of a 17 year old. His parents should be doing this. But they're not. This conversation with John opened my eyes to what many children and teens face. With all of my heart I believe there is hope. God is such a good Father. I believe if one adult would show genuine interest in this boy's life on a consistent basis, his life will begin to turn. I know someone who I am going to ask to begin writing this young boy. I was able to encourage John, give him some advice and speak life into him. He listened. Wow, he listened. He even looked me in the eyes while I was talking. I could tell he was taking it all in. And so was I. All of this happened just from sitting on a bench, one hour a week. Thank you FATHER!

His eyes lit up...

2009-09-24T18:30:00.000-05:00

I have had it on my heart to begin taking some the the high school boys to school once a week, in order to spend extra time with them and pour into their lives. There were some specific boys that God put on my heart to ask. I spoke with two of them in the past two days about it. The first boy who often shows no emotion and always has a tough front, when I asked him I if could take him to school, he grinned and assured me that his Grandma wouldn't mind at all and that I really didn't need to ask her. I will ask her of course, but I thought it cool how he showed his excitement about it in that way. When I approached the second boy, he had a neutral look on his face. But as soon as I mentioned about taking him to school, he smiled so big and his eyes lit up. Taking them to school will only require about one hour of my time each week and it will be such a valuable investment. There is something about getting in the world of a teenager and spending quality with them. It speaks VOLUMES to them, more than words, more than gifts. When you give them time and do it in their world, it makes all of the words you have spoken to them believable. They actually start believing in their own hearts that you love them. I can't wait to see what a difference one hour in the lives of these teen boys will make.

In their world...

2009-09-16T15:31:00.003-05:00

A friend donated a charcoal grill to the ministry so I can start grilling for the young men I serve lunch to on Wednesdays. I had been using a George Foreman grill and was only cooking 6 hamburgers each week. Also, using the George Foreman caused me to have to cook inside my apartment. I used the charcoal grill for the first time today and it was wonderful! You may be thinking, what is so wonderful about that? When reaching the people in this neighborhood, there is just something about being out there in their world. I am learning this on a daily basis. Using a charcoal grill immediately placed me in their world, while cooking inside still kept me in my world. These young men spend their lives outside, several of them for the purpose of selling drugs. In general this community does life together, outside and on the streets, not inside their apartments. I have never used a grill before, so this was a fun experience. Thankfully my neighbor was nearby. She sat on her porch and coached me through how to grill. It was definitely a funny site, I almost caught some things on fire! She and I had a great time together. I asked her if she would start sitting out there with me while I grill, for her expertise and her company. The guys were ready and waiting near by for the burgers to be done. Cooking outside allowed me more time to spend with these young men and I believe has broken down a little more of that wall they have over their hearts. I truly enjoy being outside with them and diving a little further into their world.

Something has changed...

2009-09-09T11:39:00.001-05:00

About every two weeks I pick up two of the teen girls and we spend a few hours together. God has specifically put two of them on my heart. I have known both of them for about 9 years, one of them is more tender and the other one has been like a brick wall for the 9 years I have known her. Over the years I have seen glimpses of tenderness, but mainly hardness. But this was one that I believed I just wasn't supposed to give up on. Yesterday I needed to run a few errands and invited the girls to come with me. We had so much fun! We went to a clothing store, they tried on clothes, then took pictures with their phones. We went to a smoothie shop and sat and drank smoothies. One of them asked if we could sit and talk instead of just take off right away. So, we did. We had good conversations and a little bit more of that hardness was melting away. We went to the grocery store and they smelled fresh ground coffee for the first time. On our way home they began asking me questions about my life and my family. When a teenager does this, you know something has changed. Because they are showing that they care about you. I won't forget that day. I believe it was a turning point for the one girl in particular. She saw love, and she knew she was safe enough to be herself and to let her guard down. Thank you Jesus.

71...

2009-08-26T15:32:00.001-05:00

Today I calculated the roster for the guys we serve lunch to on Wednesdays and since June 2008 up until now, 71 different young men have come by my apartment for lunch. This was amazing to me, because each Wednesday I only cook 6 burgers. I have a George Foreman grill and it's not something that I can cook a large amount on. So to know that 6 guys come every week, but 71 different guys have come throughout the year was so exciting to me! Today one of the younger boys who is 17 came by for a burger. I asked him why he wasn't in school and he said because he had to see his probation officer. In the past week I have found out about several different kids that are in trouble with the law. My heart just broke, but at the same time I was thankful to find out so I can know where they are coming from. I'm thankful that God is letting me truly see into their lives.

You live over there in Compton...

2009-08-21T23:00:00.002-05:00

Yesterday I found out that the side of the neighborhood that I live on is referred to as Compton. For those of you who may not be familiar with Compton. It is infamous for it's crime and one of the worst areas of Los Angeles, California. John DeShields is made up of 29 individual buildings with anywhere from 6-10 apartments in each building. So, that's approximately 230 plus apartments in the neighborhood. There is somewhat of a dividing line in the neighborhood, where one side is much more active, dangerous and loud than the other side. I live on the worst side. If you start at the calmer end and walk towards my end of the neighborhood, once you get past a certain building, you can see the difference. I was talking to a lady on the quiet end end in the background I heard a man say to his friend, "Oh yeah, she lives over there in Compton." Today another person commented on the fact that I live in Compton. I know this sounds crazy but I actually thought it was funny, because to be honest with you even though it's the worst end, I feel very safe. And it just feels normal to live here. THANK YOU JESUS!

Nothing will help them...

2009-08-13T11:45:00.002-05:00

At 12am this morning I was woken up by laughing and guys talking loudly. I looked out my window and on the sidewalk were about 10 young men (ages 18-25) playing dice. As I looked at them my heart began to ache. All I could see was the hopelessness they try to drown out with dice games, alcohol and drugs. I continued to watch them for about 10 minutes, not out of nosiness, but just observing them and asking God to show me how to reach the core of their hearts. These are the guys that we serve lunch to on Wednesdays. Serving them lunch has opened the door of their hearts to a certain degree, but I know there is more. I know that God wants me to get deeper into their lives. There have been murders that have happened over dice games in this neighborhood, so I after a while I just couldn't allow them to continue playing there. So, I opened my door and asked them to take the game somewhere else. They were very respectful and left. After that night my heart was stirring to seek God about the ministry towards these young men. I have been doing some research and asking God to reveal His vision to me in how to reach them. I asked one of the young men who doesn't seem to be caught up in all of the trouble what will reach them? He asked me if he could think about it and get back with me. About a week later, he came to me and said, "I've been thinking about what you asked me and nothing will reach them." I listened to him, but inside I smiled, because I know those are the challenges that God LOVES! He loves to reach the "unreachable," those that everyone else but Him looks at as a hopeless case. I know they are not unreachable to JESUS and He is going to show me the pathway to their hearts.

Reaching them...

2009-08-12T17:20:00.004-05:00

We had a great time with the teens last Friday! Since we have been using the basketball hoops and meeting outside, several of the boys who used to have walls up towards me are now being friendly when they see me at random times in the neighborhood. For example, I was carrying some items into my apartment yesterday and one of the boys walked over to me and asked if I needed help. He has walked by me many times before as I carryied things into my apartment and has never offered to help. Two days ago a fight broke out between a teen boy and someone else. I walked over towards it to stare them down and to pray. Sometimes just being there makes them stop fighting. I asked his friends what was going on and they didn't have much information. We talked a little bit then most of them began to walk towards the boy who was fighting, but one of the boys said, "I'm staying here with Rachel." His friends decided to stay too. This would have never happened before either. All of this because we simply hung out with teens for a few hours and let them play basketball. God is reaching them through their favorite thing, basketball.