East St. Louis, I am so proud of you...

There are certain times that my heart is drawn to drive through East St. Louis. The other night was one of those nights. I was driving through downtown St. Louis and there was a beautiful lightning show in the sky. It looked like it was coming from the east, so I drove in that direction. It was dark and raining, sometimes the best time to see the true beauty of the city of East St. Louis at rest. I drove by John DeShields, our beloved neighborhood.

As long as I can remember, I've referred to East St. Louis as a "she." When I first felt prompted to start the Dream Center years ago, these words came up very strong in my heart, I believe they were straight from God's heart. These words rang clear, "It is time, She has waited long enough, She has waited long enough, it is time." All throughout the Bible personifying characteristics are given to Israel. According to Wikipedia, "She refers to abstractions personified as feminine, and also for the soul, a city, a country, an army, the Church, and others." So, it has only seemed fitting to refer to East St. Louis as a she all of this time.

As I drove by John DeShields, I saw several things that were new and beautiful.... new, bright white streetlights, lighting up every corner, brand new barriers around the dumpsters, new and very strong barricades to block people from breaking into the windows of an old school that sits vacant next to John DeShields and a new street sign on one of the side roads that has been sign-less for as long as I can remember. As I drove and pray, talking to God, I said this in my heart, "She looks good. John DeShields looks good."

I drove more around East St. Louis and I felt a sense of pride in my heart. Not sinful pride, but proud of my city. I know East St. Louis is not where she could be, but I believe God has been doing a work in her for many years. A work in the hearts of the people that we sometimes can't see. That thought kept coming up in my heart, "I am so proud of her." It was so strong in my heart that it came out of my mouth, "East St. Louis, I am so proud of you. I am so proud of you."

This is a mystery to me, but at different times throughout ministry, this city has felt like my child, my sister, my friend and my family. I remember times that I would be going through something personally and the city or the neighborhood seemed to be going through something similar. I'm not saying I know exactly every single thing that the people go through, but some how in some way, the Holy Spirit has bonded my heart to East St. Louis. It is bonded in such a way that it feels like a relationship with an actual person.

As I've mentioned in past newsletters, we've had our outreaches paused since December in order to work on strengthening the foundational parts of the Dream Center. In this time, I've often had concerns of, "Are we not being there enough for the people, will our relationships with them still be good when we return, etc." But as I drove in the rain, in the dark, watching and listening to the heart beat of East St. Louis, I sensed she was saying, "We're gonna be alright."

We've planted a lot of seed over the years. We have to trust that when a seed is planted, it will grow. So now, we wait to see it grow, to see the tree produce fruit. It will.